So You're Depressed, Now What?
Okay, so you’re depressed.
Everything seems bleak—I get it. Hours take days, while days take hours. You lack energy, food has no taste, and enjoying yourself seems impossible.
You’re stuck dwelling on it, whatever it is. And it seems as if your depression has dug a hole you’ll never get out of. This is your new life, your new reality. You’ll feel this way forever—or will you?
Okay, so you’re depressed. Congrats, at least you know.
So, now what? Well, the only way out is through.
Here’s the checklist I go through when feeling depressed:
Identify Your Depression
The first step to digging yourself out of depression is to identify what’s causing you to feel depressed. Usually, you’re feeling down due to a lack of something in your life.
As the Buddhists say, the root of suffering is desire, meaning that if you desire something, you’re causing yourself to suffer. And, if happiness equals reality minus expectations, and your expectations are higher than your current reality, you have negative happiness.
So, what is it that’s depressing you? What’s lacking in your life that’s causing you to feel these emotions? Clearly identifying what’s depressing you is the first step to unwinding it.
Meditate & Journal
Invest in a consistent practice of meditation and journaling to help unfurl your thoughts and begin to make sense of them.
I meditate for 10 minutes in the mornings and then conclude my evenings with a journaling session. I don’t use a journal prompt, but you can if it’s helpful. I like to focus my journaling on gratitude, sometimes writing a simple list of what I’m grateful for, and other times, writing full-page stream of consciousness.
As you become consistent, you’ll notice common patterns and recurring thoughts you can work through.
However, I caution you not to over-rationalize your thoughts and feelings. Remember that life isn’t a problem to solve but a reality to experience. Instead, try to live in your body rather than your mind, and welcome anything that comes up without judgment as you release it.
Open Your Heart
We all hold tension in our bodies. Often, that tension is kept in our hearts, which apparently is one of our chakras (whatever that is). But we know that the heart is a muscle, and when you keep your heart closed, you keep the muscle clenched rather than relaxing it.
Clenching your heart is like balling your fist, which keeps all the negative feelings of depression inside your body rather than releasing them.
Instead, focus on opening and relaxing your heart, letting all your thoughts and emotions flow through and out. Don’t be afraid of the vulnerability that comes along with it. This, too, is healing.
An excellent resource for this principle is The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer.
Express Gratitude, Belief & Faith
There are always things in life to be grateful for, even if it doesn’t feel that way in the present moment. As you start journaling and focusing on opening your heart, express gratitude.
Focus on what you have rather than what you don’t, which will reduce your suffering and increase your happiness equation.
Then, express belief and faith that everything will work out for the best.
I know this part is tricky. When you’re depressed, it feels like nothing is going right and nothing is going to work. Everything is bleak.
At this very moment, it’s more important than ever to believe in yourself and have faith that the universe is conspiring in your favor. Assume everything will work and act accordingly.
Build Self-Confidence
Depression flattens your self-confidence, but believing in yourself is a prerequisite to digging yourself out of it.
As you begin to express gratitude, belief, and faith, you’ll notice that your self-confidence will build back up and reach heights previously unknown.
Keep cultivating that self-confidence as it begins to grow. Write down and recite out loud positive affirmations. Gas yourself up with positive internal self-talk. Be aware of and applaud yourself for those small moments when you embody confidence.
One thing that’s helped me immensely is reciting the Self-Confidence Formula from Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill. I read it aloud daily before meditating and reciting my goals, fully believing I can achieve them.
If you wanna learn more about how I approach my own self-confidence, check out my article on building (and maintaining) self-confidence.
Focus on Your Goals
Depression causes a lack of direction. When your life lacks certain direction, you feel aimless and full of dispair, like a leaf twisting in the wind.
To combat this, write down your goals and read them aloud once a day after you recite the Self-Confidence Formula. This will give you a sense of purpose and something to work toward.
I set goals starting with a “North Star Direction,” which outlines my ideal life. From there, I translate that North Star into five-year goals and then break those goals down into annual and quarterly goals.
This way, I’m clear on not only what my goals are but the why behind each one.
I invite you to create goals for every critical area of your life. For me, I set goals around wealth, family, career, health, and fun.
If you want to check out how I set goals, read my article on how I approach goal-setting.
Eat Healthy
Just like your mind is a temple, so too is your body.
When you’re feeling depressed, make sure that you’re eating healthy. We are what we eat, after all.
Eating unhealthy junk food during this time of depression only fuels your negative feelings fills you with self-loathing, making you feel further depressed.
Instead, focus on consuming healthy food that serves as the building blocks to help you think more positively.
Eating healthy will help further build your self-confidence as it begins to affect both your mind and body positively.
Exercise Regularly
The best way to get out of your head and into your body is to move it (your body, that is).
Exercising is a great way to pump your body with positive chemicals, build self-confidence as you become more fit, and forget about the reasons you’re depressed.
It’s a forcing function requiring you to be present and focused on the task at hand.
While it’s hard to start exercising when you’re depressed, I’ve never left a workout wishing I hadn’t done it.
So, even though it seems impossible, peel yourself off your couch, stop that feeling of self-loathing, if only for a minute, and move your body. Positively stress yourself. Push yourself further than you thought you could go.
Run. Lift. Spin. Climb. Do anything that requires your body to move. The mental and physical benefits are countless.
Sleep Soundly
Sleep is the foundation of mental and physical health. If you’re lacking sleep, it’s impossible to work through your negative thoughts and emotions.
Go to bed at the same time each night to practice good sleep hygiene. If necessary, use blackout curtains, take some melatonin, and definitely avoid screens. Turn up your A/C so your bedroom is nice and cool.
Like diet and exercise, quality sleep is a prerequisite for overcoming your depression. You’ll be shocked at how much better you feel mentally and physically after a good night of sleep.
See Friends & Family
Human connection is key.
Like many of the suggestions on this list, being around people feels like a chore when you’re depressed. Like food, friendship is tasteless. But only in the moment just before you meet up and hang with people.
Things begin to feel better with those who love and care for you. You notice the birds chirping. Perhaps you get a little pep in your step. And certainly you’re reminded of how grateful you are for the people in your life.
We’re wired to crave human connection. When you feel depressed, your instinct is to be alone—fight that instinct.
Be in Nature
Nature is, dare I say…grounding.
Like human connection, we’re wired to crave the calm that nature brings.
It’s placid, tranquil, and, at the same time, energizing.
Whether it’s a morning hike, a day at the dog park, or an overnight camping trip, getting out in nature is a great way to combat your feelings of depression.
Take deep breaths, unplug from your phone, and marvel at the scenery before you.
Keep Yourself Busy
Idle time spent ruminating is the ideal scenario for your depression to grow.
Rather, keep yourself busy. Focus on the present moment and the task right in front of you.
Clean your house, attend a concert, go to that coffee shop you’ve always wanted to try.
Invite a friend, but don’t wait. Go alone and learn to love yourself.
Keeping your mind and body busy is a great way to tamp down your depression. In the beginning, it’ll only bring fleeting moments of peace, but as you progress through time, that feeling of peace will grow and fill the hole of your depression.
Go to Therapy
This is not a PSA for therapy, nor am I qualified enough to speak on it with anything other than personal experience.
But yes, I’ve attended therapy, and while I no longer go weekly, I’ll often return for a “tune-up” when I feel like I need it.
Therapy is a great way to bounce your thoughts and emotions off a professional third party.
If you’re feeling depressed, I’d try going consistently for a few weeks and see how it feels. If you want to continue with the practice, keep going. If you only need a few sessions to work through it, keep your therapist's contact info for future needs.
Therapy is expensive, but many health plans offer some coverage. You can also try a service like BetterHelp, which offers affordable therapists and even financial aid.
Bottom Line: Stop Worrying About It
It may sound impossible, but the best thing you can do to overcome your depression is to stop worrying. Get out of your head and into your body. Open your heart and let your negative thoughts and emotions flow through you. Stay active, and stay busy.
Life ebbs and flows. As much as it feels like you’ll always be depressed, this too will pass. Life is great, and in due time, you’ll believe me.
And then, when you find yourself battling it again, return to these principles and rinse and repeat.
Writer, founder, and AI builder. Currently building Flyletter, previously sold Selling Signals (100k+ subscribers). 1 sold, 2 failed, 1 active. This post started as an issue of my weekly newsletter.